happy birthday tami’s table!!!

2nd-birthdayo, i can’t believe it has been 2 years since i took the plunge and started this blog. to be exact it was on january 9, 2011, um yes i’m late for my own party! so HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SWEET LITTLE TAMI’S TABLE!!!! hehe- i do generally run on the tardy side and am constantly working on that:) please forgive!

but even before i sat down and claimed my own personal wordpress address, i did what wordpress suggested i do….i mapped out my ideas, reasons and goals for it. it was fun and really did help me get moving in the right direction. i still have my rough drafts, he he he, i keep EVERYTHING! if i have kids of my own, i am pretty sure i will be a scrapbookin momma AND my walls will be covered in children’s art projects. if you ask my sister what my house would look like if i had children she would probably say that i would have tables covered in ongoing arts and craft projects. and i would be happy! yes sir re bob, it would be a clean house, but always ongoing projects. (scrapbooking would be something i would have permission to not have finished!) I i will most likely be working on finishing what i’ve started, ALL my life!:) at my age i have been realizing there are just somethings that may not ever change about me. it’s a sad reality i must face.

you may have noticed that i am not capitalizing words, good eye!

let me explain: in my masters program i have to write A LOT. besides reading and going to class i have to write, there is barely any quizzes or tests…no worksheets or homework questions, just essays, papers and literature reviews galore. some students are required to take a 1 credit writing workshop if the program director thinks you may need extra help with writing. I. Do. not. know. how. i. skated. through. that. one. (well yes i do) if i had not had some peers edit my 11 page personal statement paper that helped me get me into the program, the program would have defiantly required me to take this class. my grammar and spelling is far from good. it has major issues, but i have learned how to perform for my professors. (even with bad grammar and spelling, i am a person who when given clear and concise directions can follow them well.) as long as i focus and don’t get distracted (ha!). however they did not require me to, so upon finishing my first semester in the program i suggested i needed some help writing at a professional level, i don’t want to go through my entire professional life begging and bribing my co-workers and friends to edit my work- nor will i have the time. i will need to be able to write on the spot. write clear and concise documents that can only be read from one perspective MINE! i have to get a handle on writing in such a way that there is no way my words can me misconstrued. so this semester i chose to take it as an elective. all that to say…..in my 2nd day of class we talked about the many ways a person writes and the different audiences. it got me thinking about how i let myself make some grammatical errors on here and although i am aware of them as i do it, i just allow myself the permission. so, i decided that i would let myself break the capitalization rule and see how that felt. so far so good, at first it was challenging to start sentences and to not capitalize my name, well that was hard. but i’m going to see how i like it and how it looks. it’s not going to be a hard rule that i can’t break, i’m just going to be creative and bend the rules a bit. cause i can. and honestly i think it will be good for me. i have to wear so many different hats on a daily basis that letting myself break grammar rules on my blog may serve to be therapeutic ?? cause after all, the main reason i started this blog was to document the different ways that i am creative and creating things acts as a respite for some folks. for me especially i know this to be true. even as i sit here writing i am at rest, i am enjoying myself! ok so onward to some highlights of the last year and goals for the following:)

i would have to say that in 2012 i was not an avid blogger, from october 2011-2012 i did not blog one post- i know this is so very sad. but what can a girl do when she is trying to finish her undergrad work and make her family and friends proud by finally graduating from college??? in May 2012 i graduated with my bachelors in social work and had been accepted into the masters program to start the very next semester. i was exhausted to say the least. burnt out on any kind of work that had to do with reading and writing! I had also just finished 2 internships back to back equaling 740 hours!! i think i may have lost my mind towards the end. but i found it, or at least parts of it, hehe. what i had not lost was my desire to help people in need. my passion was still strong and i was ready to get back in and continue the good fight. quitting college was never an option for me in my undergrad and now in my grad program i would have to say that i’m still subscribing to this. it would be so easy to throw the towel in, because it is so hard, but i know i can’t. i couldn’t live with myself if i did. its my dream, and no one can take it away from me:) all along this journey, in my conversations with God, i have said i will do this if i am single still, i will do that if i don’t have any children, i will do that other thing if i’m still single…..and He has held me to it. I can’t let Him down. and i am so excited for what is in store for me when i do get my masters degree and am looking forward to opening that next door to my future.

what i didn’t know is that He would use me to start a baking club, it has been fun and i am learning so much. it is such a practicle way to be in women’s lives and do something meaningful at the same time. in the last few months i have been faithful to blog after each of the sessions. i’m happy with that and will continue to make that a goal!

something else i have done is facilitate a mug swap that i first saw on instagram. it is fun to participate, but i would say that making it possible for others to join in is also delightful. i really like making things happen. i don’t mind the work involved, i’m fairly good at planning and working on being better at delegating. in fact i need to email all my swappers and make sure everyone sent their mugs out and see if anyone needs help. i have made some great new friends, that i wouldn’t have met otherwise!! i will probably do another one in 2013, just depends on a few things in my life.

i would like to do more crafts and post how to’s, but that is really time-consuming. when i did my egg drop soup post in november, it was lengthy. i had to remember to take many more pictures too! egg drop soup isn’t a craft of course but i didn’t post any crafts in 2012:( mostly baking and that one cooking post. so i would like to make it a goal to post my next craft project…and the funny thing is, that will have to do with this birthday post!!! details coming very sooon:)

when i started this blog i really wanted some place besides facebook to go to keep track of the different things i was interested in or involved with. many of my friends would want a recipe of something i made and i really like the idea of the foodie blogs and i followed a few already, but i knew mine would have to be more than just food and more than just artsy….i have so many different things i do. and one of those things is journaling, no, i didn’t want this to be a place where everyone could read my most intimate thoughts. however, i wanted to be able to talk about some topics and gain feedback, because really i am quite puzzled by so many things in this world, i have so many questions, ideas and theories… i love taking photos with my iphone + instagram, but this does not make me a photographer!!! i love all colors, beauty, nature, stillness, children, people, animals, words, food and more………. taking pics helps me remember how i felt and what i was thinking at that exact moment. so how do i combine these two to be a part of tami’s table? do i have to have any rules on this blog? i don’t really think so. i guess because of how i’m wired i like to know my perimeters is all it is. i want this to be a place where people are inspired to think more, to do more…. to love more. i want to bring God glory through it all.

The end of the 2012 was especially hard for me as I watched one of my dearest friends lose her only brother. Cory was like a brother to me, I knew him since I was 11 years old. i knew i had to go back to Paradise and pay my respects. this is not something i’m very good at. i haven’t had to face many deaths in my life and i really don’t know what to say to people and i don’t really know how to be supportive when people are going through a loss of a loved one. and i still don’t know any better having gone through it. and i don’t know what to do with my own grief. i found out about his death on the day i was supposed to have surgery on my rotator cuff, i hadn’t planned anything for my christmas break because i was going to have surgery. i had to cancel it and postpone it till i had insurance in place. this now seems like it was a divine plan; insurance denied me, county aid hadn’t gone through, my letter of urgency was mistyped….. God knew Cory was going to leave us and if i would have had surgery i wouldn’t have been able to be there for my friend. i’m not sure if i was the best support, but we all work with what we have. i came down with a cold while leaving Las Vegas and arriving in California…it turned into Pneumonia. i stayed longer than anticipated and came home the day before my next semester started. Sometime on my trip I read this quote “Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional”….. I keep thinking about this. I can’t wrap my head around it. We will all have pain, we can’t avoid it really. Does it say we have control over suffering? we have control over enduring the pain? Is it more like, how we deal with the pain? For example, as bad as it hurt me to miss my friend, to think i will never hear his voice or see him again, as bad as that hurt, this quote tells me i can control how i choose to deal with the pain i’m enduring. I can either grow from it or let it set me back. What do you think it means? (subconsciously i started capitalizing i’m not going to fix those sentences). The bible says to rejoice in your sufferings (eph 4:13). So when I think about joy being an option while enduring pain, I kinda think that, that would take your mind off of your pain because you would be focusing on all the other great things in your life…..I think this may be something that is difficult to grasp for most of humanity. When you are in pain, whether it be physical or heart, you can’t see past your own pain when you’re in the middle of it, it just hurts to bad. I know my friend is going to hurt for a very long time as the days go by…..i myself want to learn how to be a joyful person even among trials and tribulations so that maybe i will be able to be a comfort to those around me in the future.

Which leads me to the topic of changing my focus concentration in my masters program. I began with my track being Management and Community Planning and really was feeling no peace at all while taking those classes. It was so dry to me and I was not motivated by the assignments. I didn’t recognize it at the time but I wasn’t following my passion, i almost got myself off of God’s path i believe. everything was all wrong. thankfully the program director asked me if i was happy in the program, and i was able to be honest with her. she gave me a few options and i spent nearly 2 weeks praying (not the entire 2 weeks in a desilet village or anything) for some guidance from the Lord. I decided to change to geriatric/medical social work. i am in my 3rd week of classes and my oh my, what a difference this change has made. when i am in class i catch myself dreaming of what life will be like out of college and all the great places God is going to take me…. I GOT MY HOPE AND DREAMS BACK!!! Yea:) how simple that was!!!

In honor of celebration of Tami’s Table, I want to offer the FIRST 10 people who comment on this blog a BIRTHDAY GIFT from me!! This won’t be just any gift ya’ll…I’m going to make it with my own 2 hands:) and post the project on here. Happy Birthday Tami’s Table!!!!!!!! Thank you dear readers, without you i wouldn’t have a blog:) xo, Tami